I Like My Teams Like My Women

Some of the NBA teams today remind me of some women that I have come across in my life. The makeup of each team is similar to the characteristics to certain types of women. Here are the women that have tortured my life and the teams that resemble them:

Miss Gold Digger - she looks for any man that can help her now - she doesn't care how much as long as she can get it - always on the hunt for something new - full of greed and selfishness - always in a hole - this is the New York Knicks - always in the hunt for new talent no matter what the cost. The team is full of selfish players and seem to always dig themselves in a hole. Once they find you useless they move on to the next player and the next. No matter what they are always looking to come out on top.

Miss Drama Queen - she is always in the spotlight - no matter where they are, drama follows - always about me me me - no matter what happens, she is always being criticized - high maintenance - this is the Los Angeles Lakers - after the soap opera in Kobe and the Lakers, we finally thought things settled in LA. Instead a huge injury and lack of depth plague them. Do they sink or swim? No matter what happens in the NBA the spotlight starts and ends with the Lakers.


Miss Recently Dumped - down in the dumps - can only look at what once was - always hoping that happiness is around the corner - can never let go of the past - must let go of the memories before moving on to the future - this is the Miami Heat - on top of the world a couple years ago and now in depression. This team can only look back at the glory days when things were perfect. In order for this team to move on they must let go of their past (Shaq). It is better to have won the ring then to have never of won at all.

Miss Internet Girlfriend - from the pictures she sent you she looks like a early Britney Spears - you have great chats - seems like your chemistry couldn't be better - when you finally meet her, she looks like cracked out bald Britney, and the chemistry you thought that was there was just infatuation - this is the Chicago Bulls - many experts had them as a favorite (infatuated) in the league. They looked like a great lineup on paper that would mesh really well. Once the season finally started there was nothing but ugly basketball and bad chemistry.

Miss Tease - she is the one that flirts with you all the time - she agrees to go out with you - you even take her home with you - as soon as you are ready to do your thing all of a sudden you are cut off and it seems like it was over before it began - this is the Dallas Mavericks - in one year they flirt with championship but come a little short. Next year, the season couldn't of gone any better and they were finally going to go all the way. But like the tease they are, turned down and sent back home. Maybe next time they will go all the way.

Miss Adventurous - never know what is going to happen with her - she is crazy and energetic - reckless and carefree - fearless with nothing to lose - you can't help but be attracted to her - she is great, but too unstable to take seriously - this is the Golden State Warriors - this erratic and loony bunch is exactly what the NBA needed, a team with nothing to lose. They play with controlled recklessness and confidence. The funnest team to watch hands down, but fun doesn't always equal champion. Let's see what adventure they will take us on in these playoffs.

Miss Sexy - everything about her screams "wow" - you can't help but stare in awe - how can someone look this good - she has all the right parts in all the right places - this is the Boston Celtics - this is the sexiest team when the Big 3 are playing together - when you see them play and win, all you can say is "wow." The chemistry is great and all the right parts fit in all the right places. Does having an attractive Big 3 make up for the other lacking parts, seems as if it does so far.


Miss Potential - she is everything you want in a woman - shes hot, smart and kind hearted - the only problem is that she may not be ready to take the next step - she is still focused on finding herself - in a few years she could be the most complete woman you will ever see - this is the Portland Blazers - this is a great team with great players. The chemistry is great and all the knuckleheads are out. There is nothing but good vibes with this ball club. They still may not be ready to make a deep playoff run, but are a few years from dynasty. Blazers have the greatest potential of any team in the league.


Miss Personality - she may not be the hottest out there, but her personality is what makes her - the chemistry you have is unbelievable - she is definitely someone you can see yourself being with long term - this is the Detroit Pistons - no big superstars, but work together like family. The chemistry on this team might be the best in the NBA. They are proven and are a threat to take it all every year. Even though we see this same team every year, they are still hard to figure out.

Miss Take Home To Mother - shes miss sexy or miss personality - in fact she is average and a little dull - out all the women of the bunch, she is the one you can take home to Mom - she is loyal and humble - she is miss right, but sometimes you need a little sexiness and a little fun - this is the Spurs - this team is nothing short of great. They are the model franchise with great players. They may not have the flash and character, but they always get the job done. You can't go wrong with the Spurs.

Which team would you date?