Monday, February 25, 2008

1st Annual Sports Oscars

In light of 80th Annual Academy Awards, I would like to welcome you to the First Annual Agree to Disagree Sports Awards, also known as the Sports Oscars. After examining the past year in sports, I would like to award those deserving of Sports Oscars. In a year filled with joy and drama I present to you this year's winners:

Best Picture...
... And this award goes to Tom Brady. The picture of him wearing a walking cast in New York was the talk of Super Bowl week. This picture had every newspaper and magazine questioning Tom Brady's health before the game and his choice in flowers. This picture was bigger than the super bowl itself, well until they lost.

Best Screenplay...
... And the award goes to George Mitchell. Mitchell wrote the best and most controversial screenplay to ever hit sports, "The Mitchell Report." This 400 plus pages names 89 current and former baseball players that are alleged to have used steroids or drugs. The full report shows shocking information about the game's biggest stars, including Roger Clemens and Barry Bonds. Every director wants there hands on this script.

Best Supporting Actress...

...And the award goes to Jessica Simpson. Jessica is dating Dallas Cowboy's stud quarterback Tony Romo. Jessica has become his number one fan and even showed her support by attending the game against rival Philadelphia Eagles. At the game the cameras focused on Jessica and her pink Romo jersey. The Cowboys lost that game 10-6 and Romo finished with a career low 22.2 quarterback rating. Later in the playoffs, the couple went on a trip to Mexico, and the Cowboys lost soon after that.

Best Director...
... And the award goes to David Stern. The commissioner has done a wonderful job this year getting the NBA back in shape. With the MLB having the steroid investigations and the NFL dealing with Spygate, no even remebers the betting scandal with Tim Donaghy. Stern has turned things around and deserves to be best director, you can bet on that.

Best Makeup...
... And the award goes to Roger Clemens. Roger Clemens has been caught with steroids and is making up stories every time he steps in the courtroom. He tries to cover up all his lies with make up and they are now starting to finally catch up to him. Roger has been the best at making excuses and throwing everyone, including his mother, under the bus. You can only cover up so much with make up, regardless he wins this award by effort alone.

Best Visual Effects...
... And the award goes to Bill Belichick. Belichick's visuals in Spygate are the best I've seen since E.T. won in 1982. Getting an opponent's walk-throughs and game signals is not only hard footage to capture, but to do this consistently for so many years is amazing. Spygate is not only a breakthrough in NFL coaching, but in cheating as well.

Best Leading Role...
... And the award goes to Kobe Bryant. In Kobe's monologue, which was filmed in a shopping center parking lot, he discusses his aspirations for Jason Kidd. In this he also explains who needs to be "shiped out" in order to get him. In this one scene alone, he was able to score a great supporting cast with realistic championship dreams.

These are your First Annual Agree to Disagree Sports Awards winners. Let me know who you think should win what award.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

kobe=leading role is perfect
got him a new role as an nba championship team

Anonymous said...

first time i saw that kobe video

Anonymous said...

A cheating very well



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